Learn how to feel sexy without sex! A sensual embodiment coach goes public about touching private parts

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Learn how to feel sexy without sex! A sensual embodiment coach goes public about touching private parts

Sensuality and Sexuality

FEEL TURNED ON BY LIFE

Life got you hot and bothered? Are you looking for a release?

Then strip down. Gyrate. Grind. Hip thrust. Shake. Sweat. Bare it all. 

No, we’re not talking about sex, baby. When you get that feeling, try sensual healing.

(ok, we’re done with song references that will be stuck in your head for the rest of the day now!)

Our guest, Anjua Maximo, a life and sensual embodiment coach with over 10+ years of experience and owner of Electric Life and Pure Mvmnt moved us (pun intended) with her work on healing the collective consciousness when it comes to sacred, sensual expression. 

Sensual expression as an embodiment practice allows us to strip off any layers that no longer serve the best version of us. It gives us permission to fall and to rise back up, to shape shift, and to take up space. It reminds us not to sweat the small stuff, but when we do, it also reminds us that we can use our actual sweat to release our worries. It symbolizes that we don’t need to know the next step, or get stuck in routine, or control things by choreographing. We do not need to perform for anyone.  It helps us shake off any heavy loads that we’ve been carrying for too long; our hips hold unprocessed trauma that can be removed from our body and energy fields. So, we may be able to lie to others or ourselves about how we’re feeling, but in the words of Shakira, hips don’t (ok, ok, that was the last song reference for real!) 

Anjua is hip to all of those benefits but our conversation climaxed with the hottest takeaway. 

The sexiest thing we can do is to get intimate with ourselves by touching the deepest, most private parts within us.

So, the sooner we get vulnerable enough to seek out our naked truth- by dancing with our devils, using our body to embody our power, and moving through our healing- then the sooner we will shift our focus to all the things about life that turn us on and bring us passion!

GETTING INTIMATE WITH ANJUA

GETTING INTIMATE WITH ANJUA

divFLEX-N-FLY:

Tell us about yourself and your mission in your own words. How was your business born?

ANJUA:

It’s funny. I usually interview people on my podcast and introduce them from their bio’s.  I just had that same moment reflected back to me. That introduction sounded so good I almost didn’t realize it was about me! 

Yessssss. I am all of those things you’ve already mentioned. You nailed it! I am also an entrepreneur. About six or seven years ago my husband and I opened up a fitness studio called GrooveRyde together. So, there are multiple businesses going on here. It’s one of those things where someone could say that I have my hands in many pots! But, they all link together. They all deal with wellness and people. 

My journey helping women strengthen their connection to their divine feminine energy has been interesting because that was not always my story.

I was not the girl who had tons of friends. I always had a close knit group of core friends, since I was about nine. I had difficulty building relationships with females due to age old stories like jealousy, betrayals, and gossiping; the unfortunate things that can sometimes happen in some female friendships. So, I was the girl with the guy friends because they were always so low maintenance! Even though people thought that was because they were trying to sleep with me! I didn’t believe that. I just laughed it off and said, ‘Whatever!’

Fast forward and I find myself in my first central movement class at the age of 31. I’m 47 now. This is where my first female friendships really formulated. This class was in Los Angeles where I was living at the time. I was an actor and I reallllllly hated working out. My trainer-who recognized how much I hated working out-  told me about it. She said it was a pole dancing class that she and her girls tried and had a blast at! I was sold. 

I thought, ‘I like strip clubs, I like fun, where has this been all my life?’ 

And off I go to this class by myself. There were about 40 women in this room. It was dark, there were red lights, I couldn’t really see. There were 4 teachers in the center, and I was like, ‘What the f$#k is happening?’ 

The music was so loud. It was a whole visceral experience. But I knew that we were moving in a way that I had never moved before. It was different. It wasn’t like a ‘5,6,7,8’  kind of dancing! 

And then we got on the pole, and my mind just exploded! It was like I was 7 years old again on the playground when I just didn’t care and my skirt was flying up in the air. I was free and wild! It’s a feeling that I think so many of us have forgotten, or have had taken from us, or shamed out of us. 

All of that happened at that moment.

I became a teacher at that studio. It was the first time I worked with an entirely female staff. It was  the first time I found true friendship, sisterhood, and women screaming for each other and cheering each other on. It was the first time I found sensuality; being completely in my sexual expression without needing anything to come from it.  It was the first time I saw women journey and go through a process. She would come in with slumped shoulders, her inner light dimmed, and be trying to disappear into herself. 

But going through these classes, you would see her shoulders come back up, her head is held high with her crown up, her breasts are in the room ten minutes before her with her ass swinging proudly behind her. That’s what hooked me. 

So it’s been interesting to find myself in my practice today where I am servicing women. My entire life is now dedicated to connecting women together, connecting women to themselves, and removing those things like jealousy. I’m not saying we can get rid of things like that all together, because we are human. But, it’s really about removing a lot of the stuff I believe is manufactured due to the media and due to the narratives that have been put into place for six million years!

Well, maybe not six million years (*giggling.*) I’m not one for numbers, so I’m not going to be accurate on numbers, we didn’t come here for that though! (*more giggling.*) I meant for as long as we’ve been walking the earth! 

A Sensual Embodiment Coach Goes Public About Touching Private Parts! Learn How to Feel Sexy Without Sex.

FLEX-N-FLY:

Divine feminine energy can be described in so many ways. Tell us what it means to you, especially as black woman owning hers in today’s society?

ANJUA:

Yes. Trust me. It’s been a journey for me too with learning this term. When I first started this almost 15 years ago, none of this was popular. We didn’t know what the f**k divine feminine meant. That was not being used. We weren’t embodying anything! These are all phrases that within the last several years I am now starting to use because I am learning about them.

I’m like, ‘Oh, is that what we were doing? I didn’t know it had a term.  Is that what we were waking up… my sacral chakra?! I had no freaking clue!’

I became a teacher to teach women how to pole dance and feel sensual and sexy in their bodies for themselves. That’s it. That was the basics of what we were doing. I didn’t know all this other stuff was happening. 

But, in real time, in these classes, women were having breakthroughs. They were straight up crying, running out of rooms, and epiphanies were happening.

I was shocked. I thought, ‘You got all that from swinging on a pole?’ 

One woman said she left her therapist because the 8 weeks of classes were more therapeutic than actual therapy! Now, I’m not advocating for that-you can stick with your therapist AND do your classes- but in her case that’s what she felt. 

So this was more than just pole dancing or more than just shaking your ass. 

And I have to be careful when I say that because what I’ve also learned is that I was a snob at that time. What I have come to realize is that you can access your divine feminine energy through multiple styles of movement. You can do it through belly dancing, pole dancing, or even olympic pole sports style which are more trick based.  It’s not just one way, it’s whatever you’re open to. For example, Yoga can’t claim that the one route to mindfulness is through their movement!  Nope. I know crossfitters, or runners that can find mindfulness. It’s about finding empowerment doing whatever because you are connecting to your sensuality, energy and expression.

I also find that we can get really stuck to linking divine feminine energy to gender. Men get very confused thinking they’re the only ones with divine masculine, and women get very confused thinking they’re the only ones with divine feminine energy. That’s not the case.

Even nature itself does not have masculine or feminine. Nature itself blends. For some reason, we don’t want to reflect the nature of nature in our society so we created those boxes. All we are talking about here is energy that exists in every human being, regardless of how you identify.

With that said, the way I like to explain what I am doing is that I am teaching women how to access their inner energy; how to access their inner knowing, intuition, and womb energy. 

When you are working from your sacral chakra, your womb energy or feminine genius- which again, we all have regardless of gender- it means you are allowing your connection to your body to lead you into your next movement whether that is in life or in dance.

That’s the energy of what I’m teaching you to do. You close your eyes. You’re not following the beat of the music. You are feeling the music. Your body will tell you, ‘I feel it here,’ and then you can move from there.

Now speaking as a woman of color, a Black Latina, an African American, a Puerto Rican -or whatever you want to call me since my mom told me I had to check all the boxes in school even though I could only choose one which was <other> and it was very stressful– here’s the deal. I won’t speak for all of us. I’m going to speak from my personal experience as a coach, a friend, and a woman in the community of other black and brown women. 

There is a stigma that black or brown women need to take on a certain amount of stress or responsibility and that they need to do it in a stoic manner. I feel that there’s extra pressure to hold it all down and hold it all together. That leaves no space for softness or vulnerability. In order to access your sensuality, and to express your sexuality, you need to be vulnerable. You have to feel safe to be vulnerable.

When I first started my movement practice, I didn’t have a lot of women of color in the room, but I knew it was important and that I needed to find a way to change that. 

Tik Tok has somehow become the vehicle for me to do that more now. I welcome all women in my space, anyone who identifies as a woman, no matter what. But this topic is specifically important to me.  I want to be the mirror and hold that sacred, safe space for people who also reflect that shared experience back to me.

Side note: If you are a black woman who is sick of being called resilient as a means to deny you a sacred space to process all of your human emotions then check out this article.

A Sensual Embodiment Coach Goes Public About Touching Private Parts! Learn How to Feel Sexy Without Sex.

FLEX-N-FLY:

Sensuality and Sexuality. Different? Connected? How do you explain these and what their significance is in your work? 

ANJUA:

Yes and Yes! They are different, and they are connected! 

Sensuality lives within everything if you are paying attention.

A sensual experience is having the most amazing dessert at a fabulous restaurant in your city. It’s the kind of dessert where you eat it and your eyes roll back in your head, your toes grip your shoes, and you dance a little in your chair! 

You can have a sensual experience when you hug a friend! It is the connection. It’s the releasing of all the feel good hormones. It doesn’t have to be romantic. 

When you’re walking outside and taking in the sound of the leaves when they’re moving in the wind, and noticing the color of the sky, and you’re feeling the warmth of the sun- those are all sensual experiences. It has nothing to do with sex! 

Sexuality is everything to do with the act of sex or the language of sex. It is the physicality of it. 

You can have sexuality completely devoid of sensuality. They can be mutually exclusive. And sensuality can lead to a sexual experience. So they can exist together too. But, they are not necessarily one and the same.

What I am teaching people is to get in touch with their sensuality to help stroke the fires of their sexuality so that they are able to express themselves.

Some of the dances are very sensual. It’s emotional. You can feel her energy as she moves through a song and how that song is hitting her. And some of the dances are overtly sexual and erotic. We embody all of those things. We don’t need to be one or the other, we are layered. Sensuality and sexuality are also layered concepts in that way. 

FLEX-N-FLY:

How has your relationship with your body changed? How was it before you stepped into creating your work (aka your business) versus now that you get to work it and tap into that goddess energy everyday?

ANJUA:

Here’s the thing. I grew up in an Afro-Latina family. I always felt like I was the oddball.

Everyone had ass for days. They had big breasts. They had a lot of curves going on. I was gangly and long. They called me, “Flaca.” That means skinny in Spanish. They would ask my mother, “What happened with this one?” 

They were always teasing me about those things and my big head too! Also, I think men in this culture are generally attracted to curvier women. The term “fat ass” is a compliment! And, I longed to have one! It really wasn’t until I started modeling that people started looking at my shape and saying, “This is the ideal, this is what we need- a long, tall, skinny girl!”

There were a lot of confusing signals about my body. A lot of it became about outward attention. My validation came from what other people’s opinions were of my body, never about what I thought. 

I was constantly in the mirror pinching things, pushing something out, sucking something in, or thinking about how I could save enough money to make this bigger or make that go away. I was never comfortable.

It took up more energy and rent in my mind than it should have. Whether or not boys looked at me when I walked into a room should not have validated me or given me the confidence I needed to proceed with the rest of my day. But that’s what was happening. 

So to sum it up, my body journey has been like I think it has been for many women. It’s been up and down. It’s been based on outside validation and acknowledgement. It wasn’t until I started taking that class and teaching it, that I understood how much I loved my body just as she was, and just as she was not. Even embracing my hair as it turns grey, or my wrinkles has been a tough journey. And I won’t lie, I have considered botox or treatments for those things. 

But, I realized that the truth is always going to be there underneath it all. At some point you will have to look at it. I don’t want to be there on that day when I don’t have Botox anymore, or I ran out of hair dye and it all hits me like, BAM! 

So right now, I am learning to age into this gracefully and have acceptance for it all. My practice helps me do this daily! 

FLEX-N-FLY:

You have a Podcast, the Electric Feminine dedicated to unlearning the negative messages we’ve been taught about ourselves and as you say, ‘Redefine and heal ourselves from head to heart to yoni.’ Topics range from burlesque, spiritual sexuality, motherhood, aging, being unapologetic and so much more! What can we expect to hear coming up? Also, give a shameless self plug here for all the other ways people can find you, follow you, and support you!

A Sensual Embodiment Coach Goes Public About Touching Private Parts! Learn How to Feel Sexy Without Sex.

ANJUA:

Thank you so much for sharing all that! We just wrapped season 3! I sat with my producer before that and we realized we were missing an opportunity to showcase more guests from the LGBTQ community. So in season 3 we did that! It wasnt necessarily that topics had to be about that, but it was about wanting to feature more than just heterosexual, cisgender women on the show. There are opinions and experiences that people could have from a different gender identity that would enrich the topics that we were already discussing. This isn’t just some vanity thing, like one and done for season 3. This is the way it’s going to be going forward. We’re so excited to highlight more of these stories in season 4.  

We’re also looking into featuring more perspectives on divine feminine and masculine energy relating to men.

Apparently there are men who have difficulty with intimacy. I mean, we all knew that but I didn’t know there were people out there helping them! 

So we talked to a men’s intimacy coach to learn more! She helps men heal their wounded masculine energy so that they can embody their true masculine energy through their ***CENSORED.***

Whether you want to hear about all the different shapes and sizes of vulva featured at a vulva museum in season 3 or experience live coaching sessions coming in season 4, you’ll definitely want to head over and follow the podcast!

All the other ways you can follow, join, or support me can be found on my website: anjuamaximo.com 

A Sensual Embodiment Coach Goes Public About Touching Private Parts! Learn How to Feel Sexy Without Sex.

IT’S BEEN A PLEASURE

We hope this article arouses your curiosity to learn more about sacred sensuality, divine feminine energy, and the Goddess herself, Anjua! 

More importantly, we hope it gets you excited to endlessly explore yourself; finding what brings you passion and pleasure. Because when you start exposing those intimate aspects of you, we promise that you will have a whole new lust for life! 

Give yourself permission to be touched in your most private parts like your heart and soul, keep moving, and always be moved by how special you truly are.

What questions or comments do you have about this type of embodiment practice? Leave them below and we’ll respond!  We love doing this dance with you!

Check out a clip of the interview on our YouTube channel and subscribe. 

Abbey Acevedo
About The Author

Abbey Acevedo

ABBEY ACEVEDO is a Youtube motivational speaker, audiobook narrator, poet, writer, caffeine junkie, student of life, and lover of all things related to self and soul development. She is a natural fixer, helper, cheerleader, and creative soul who makes people feel supported, connected, worthy, and downright special. The word BE is in her first name and that is no coincidence because being around her inspires you to BE yourself! Find out more about Abbey on iamabbey.com

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